Snow Crisis

Remember that obscenely wealthy corrupt guy who suggested shooting bullets into a hurricane to stop it? Yeah, that one. Well, up here in Canada, we know firing rounds into a blizzard won't do shit—except maybe give you frostbite and a Darwin Award. Better to grab a Timmies, accept your frozen fate, and wear these earrings so everyone knows you're the type who'd rather mock idiots in power than become one. Because if we're going down with the ship, we might as well look good doing it and have something to talk about besides the weather and our collective disappointment in humanity.