{"title":"Neck accessories","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHere you'll find things we hang around our necks to distract from existential dread—or to showcase our chests, questionable belief systems, and the delusion that we have fashion sense. I'm reminded of the time I realized cravats were the origin of white-collar fashion, back when strangulation risk was just part of looking professional (honestly, they should make a comeback). Anyway, accent your daily costume of functional depression with one of our fancy neck accessories—because if you're going to slowly suffocate under capitalism, you might as well look good doing it.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"the-nineties-were-a-mistake","title":"The Nineties Were a Mistake","description":"\u003cp class=\"_p_ua7qq_109\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eDecades ago, humanity escaped the eighties only to stumble into the nineties wearing shoulder pads like we were all auditioning to be linebackers in a corporate dystopia. As a kid, I found my mother's padded blazers deeply threatening—like her clothes were preparing for combat I wasn't cleared to know about. The only redeeming feature of that cursed decade? Long, simple necklaces that didn't look like they were compensating for anything.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"_p_ua7qq_109\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThis one's for the humans with alternative style—the ones whose bookshelf includes the Anarchist Cookbook (for 'research purposes'), and who were listening to Skinny Puppy years before the CIA discovered their enhanced interrogation potential.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Angry Rabbit Metalworks","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42989945651267,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0674\/3182\/5475\/files\/IMG_0594.jpg?v=1771454032"}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0674\/3182\/5475\/collections\/IMG_0594.jpg?v=1771455422","url":"https:\/\/angryrabbitmetalworks.com\/collections\/neck-accessories.oembed","provider":"Angry Rabbit Metalworks","version":"1.0","type":"link"}